Log in

No account? Create an account
15 February 2011 @ 12:59 pm
Once More With Feeling - Laura/Bill - AU - 11/15  
Title:  Once More With Feeling
Author: sira01 
Pairing:  Adama/Roslin
Rating: overall story MA, this chapter T
Summary: Sometimes running into a stranger can turn your whole life upside down.

Chapter 11

Bill knew something was wrong with Laura. It was hardly palpable, but he could feel it. There was a lingering sadness in her eyes. Something was hurting her, and he had no idea what it was, felt helpless while watching her retreat into herself. Was it something he’d said, did he trigger something?

During their ride back, he waited for her to come back to herself. It didn’t happen, and whatever held her in a tight grip became stronger and stronger.

When she asked him about watching a movie, he agreed, but his heart wasn’t in it. They didn’t need a movie, Laura didn’t need one. While she fussed around in the living room and then in the kitchen, he got out of his jacket and shoes, made his way over to her bathroom. He had no clear idea what he was doing, or if it was even the right thing. All he knew was he wanted her hurt to lessen.

Deciding on a bath oil, he began running a bath, taking up a lighter and lighting some candles.

“What are you doing?” Laura asked, and when he turned, she stood in the doorway.

“I don’t want to watch a movie after all.”

He watched her taking a deep breath. “Bill, listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

He shook his head, didn’t want to hear it.

Closing the distance between them, he put a finger on her lips.

“I don’t want apologies. I don’t need to know what is up. But I rather want to feel you close now.”

She shivered, and he saw tears pricking at her eyes. It made him tear up as well, and he took some ragged breaths to get himself under control. What was it that the more he tried to keep a modicum of distance to her, the more he fell for her?

“You’d like a bath?” he asked.

“I’d love one.”


Slowly, he began to undress her, and she let him. He took his time, admired her luscious body as he uncovered it. Once she was fully naked, the tub was nearly full, and he watched her getting in, twisting slightly so she could look at him.

“What about you?”

He smiled. “I’ll get us something to drink. Be back in a minute.”

Leaving for her kitchen, he could almost feel her pressed against his chest. He wanted it, wanted it so much it nearly hurt. How could he ever leave her now he’d found her? How often would he have to ask himself the same question before he found an answer?

Coming back into the bathroom, carrying a glass of wine – why bother with two glasses when they could share one – he found Laura in the tub, her head leaned back, her eyes closed. Watching her for a moment, he realized she still wasn’t relaxed, her body tense.

As he put the glass down on the rim, Laura opened her eyes, a soft smile appearing on her face.

“I missed you.”

“I haven’t been gone for longer than two minutes.”

“I missed you,” she repeated.

He understood, understood way too well.

“Get in here, soldier,” she said, her command spoken softly, but a command nonetheless. He took his time stripping out of his clothes, wasn’t in a hurry, and he was honest enough to admit he like the way Laura watched him. It was always so obvious she liked what she saw, and if this was more than just a week, he’d wish for it to never change. When he stepped out of his boxers, he knew his half arousal was apparent, but he wasn’t ashamed. He wanted this woman, couldn’t help his body’s reaction to her. She raised an eyebrow at him, crooked her finger, beckoning him closer. He wasn’t a puppet on a string, would never be, though, he’d always follow her lead. Sinking into the tub opposite of her, he let their legs tangle, enjoying the skin-on-skin contact. Reaching for the glass, he handed it to her, let her take a sip before he took the glass from her to taste the wine himself.

“You alright?” he asked.

For a moment, the expression on her face turned sad, but then she nodded.

“Yes, I am. The ghosts of the past.”

She didn’t say any more, he didn’t press her.

He watched Laura close her eyes, opening them again, a few tears running down her cheeks. His heart was breaking for her, even when he knew he couldn’t take her pain from her.



“Make me forget. Please. Only for the night.”

He nodded. If he couldn’t take her pain, he’d try to make her forget: He’d seen and lived through enough to know sometimes forgetting was all you could hope for. That she asked this of him was a sign of trust, he felt undeserving of but one he’d do his best to honour.

“Come here,” he said, holding out his arms to her.

She did, without a moment of hesitation she moved, straddled him, and his arms came around her waist, holding her close.

For a long moment, neither of them moved. His own emotions were threatening to overwhelm him, a wave of tenderness for the woman in his arms making him shiver in spite of the heat they were engulfed in. Precious, she was precious to him, a gift he couldn’t believe had been bestowed on him.

Taking a deep breath, he reached up, curled his hand around her neck to pull her closer. She came willingly, and her mouth met his in a kiss so tender, so soft, it was hardly more than fleeting brushes of their lips against each other.

Minutes passed this way, and he couldn’t get enough, just couldn’t. Murmuring sweet nothings in and between, they were content with this most basic of contacts. As much as he enjoyed joining with her, it was even more intimate to kiss her, to let her know how he felt about her with his oral caresses.

Still, when she began to writhe on his lap, his own state of arousal became undeniable any longer.

“I need you,” Laura whispered in his ear, and she trailed kisses along his neck, gently nipped at his shoulder.

“Take what you need, love.”

The endearment had slipped out before he could stop himself. She didn’t admonish him, didn’t react, though, they both tensed up.

He wanted to apologize; however, he forgot about it the moment she lifted herself slightly, taking his hard flesh in her hand, guiding him into her body.

She accepted him with a tiny moan, throwing back her head. So frakking beautiful. Her full breasts, her nipples taut, made his mouth water, and leaning forward, he suckled at one of the tender buds. She hummed, a sound he only knew from her. That moment, he knew that he wouldn’t want any other woman again. How could he want someone who wasn’t she? How could he go back to simply sharing physical pleasures without the emotional connection? Laura had tainted him. He wouldn’t tell her, couldn’t tell her. This was his burden to bear.

“Bill.” The way his name rolled from her lips made him shudder, and he wished they’d take it slower so it would never end, take it faster so they’d drown in the sensations. Laura made him long for so many things, things he hadn’t even contemplated in years. If he hadn’t been able to forget her after their night so many years ago, he now only knew one woman. This was the woman meant to fit him.

Willing all thoughts away until later, he bit down on her nipple, and she hissed, squeezing him inside her in retaliation.

“Gods, Bill, I need you.”

“Shhh, I got you. Take what you need.”

He’d gladly give her everything. This time, she needed him, but he knew before he’d have to leave, he’d need her to pick up the pieces of him because something inside him would want to shatter at the prospect of leaving her.

Switching to her other breast, he suckled, licked, bit, knowing it was likely he’d leave a mark, yet he was unable to stop himself.

Riding him harder, she didn’t complain, and when she shattered above him, he followed her over the edge. Closing his eyes, he lost all meaning of time and place, felt her collapse against him, suddenly boneless. His arms wound around her waist, began stroking her back.

“Thank you,” she murmured after a while, and he found himself unable to reply. How could he accept her thanks if it was him that felt like he’d been given a gift?

It was still early in the morning. First pale daylight was falling into her bedroom, but from what she could see through the blinds, the sky was grey, dark grey. Rain was splattering against her window in a steady rhythm, and although it was a sound she usually loved, it kept her from falling asleep again this morning.

Contrary to her, Bill was still asleep, and she didn’t move out of fear she would wake him. It was one part of her reasoning, the other part was she felt comfortable as she was, her legs tangled with his, her head resting against his chest. When he’d be gone, she’d miss the way he kept her warm, how he felt with his naked skin against her own, the way his barely discernible scent made her feel save.

This situation was a vivid reminder why she usually thought first and acted afterwards. Not once had she considered the ramifications of inviting him into her home, her life, her heart. She’d meant to offer them the opportunity to spend some time together, had ignored the fact it would have to end even if she didn’t want it to.

Last night had scared her. Her own emotional response to Bill, to the situation at large scared her. She could still feel her depression lurking in the back of her mind, waiting to claw at her again. It was something she couldn’t allow. Bill and she had less than three days, now. She intended to enjoy these days, to make memories, to give and take in equal measure.

Last night, Bill had been wonderful. After their bath, he had left her alone while she washed her hair, had prepared them a light snack to take to the couch with them. There, they had watched a movie in silence, Bill’s arm around her shoulder for almost the entire time. Afterwards, he had offered to read to her again. She’d gladly accepted, and snuggling into bed, the only light coming from two candles on Bill’s nightstand – when had she come to think of it as his? – she had listened to him for what seemed like hours until she had fallen asleep. Maybe this was why she was up so early today. It couldn’t have been that late when she’d succumbed to sleep last night.

“You shouldn’t think so much,” Bill murmured in a hoarse, sleepy voice.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She brushed her lips against his chest in silent apology.

“You haven’t. Although, you tend to be awfully loud while thinking.”

“I’m not.” She knew she hadn’t moved, hadn’t made any discernable sound.

“You’re tense, love.”

There it was again, the endearment he’d used last night. She hadn’t commented on it then, didn’t feel like commenting on it now. It scared her, still… she liked the way it sounded coming from him.

Was it so bad to want to belong to someone? She was an independent woman, would always be one, and she felt Bill wouldn’t want to have her any other way. So why couldn’t she work through her issues, try to invite him to spend more time with her than just a few days? Maybe the problem wasn’t only on her side, though. So far, Bill hadn’t given any indication he wanted more than what they’d agree on. Or he had hinted but never delivered.

“You’re thinking even harder now.”

She muffled a giggle against his chest. This man was too perceptive for his own good.

“Try to make me stop.”

She shouldn’t have said it. A minute later, she wished she’d kept her mouth shut. With a speed and an agility she didn’t think he had in him that early in the morning, he turned them so she was on her back with him straddling her. That wouldn’t have been bad at all if he hadn’t begun to tickle her next. To her surprise and shock, this man knew how to make her dissolve into laughter. Only a few men in her life had ever managed to get such a reaction out of her, Bill clearly was among them. Instead of tickling her roughly, his fingers only whispered over her skin, searching and finding spots that made her shriek, caressing with a softness that didn’t arouse but made her buck while tears of laugher ran down her cheeks and her voice rang out loudly in the room.

He didn’t stop, at least not until she begged him, promised him to do everything, any time as long as he only stopped torturing her.

“Unconditional surrender?” he asked, towering over her, and she nodded eagerly. Damn this smug bastard for making her feel utterly helpless.

Letting go of her, he came to rest on his side, and wanting to feel his warmth once more, she scooted closer.

“That was evil.”

He let out a chuckle. “How do you think we beat the cylons back then?”

“I don’t think you tickled them, if that’s what you meant.”

This time, his laughter was completely genuine.

“You want to sleep some more,” she asked him.

“No, but let’s lie here for a while longer.”

“It feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.”

For some time, they were both silent, Bill running one of his hands up and down her back, Laura drawing patterns on his shoulder.

“I’m looking forward to the fight tonight,” she finally said.

“Me too. It’s still hard to believe you like boxing.”


“Because,” he shrugged, didn’t continue.

“Because I look too much a lady to enjoy a good fight?”

“Yeah, for one thing.”

“Let me assure you I love the sport.” A memory hit her, and out of impulse, she decided to share. If she couldn’t share bits and pieces of her past with Bill, with whom else would she ever be able to?

“I went to see my first fight when I was five years old,” she began.

“Pardon me?”

She had shocked him. It made her grin.


“Don’t you think five is a bit young?”

“Why? I still grew into a respectable woman, a law abiding citizen.”

“But still...”

She smiled up at him. “My father didn’t have a choice but to take me there. My mother had been away with my sisters. They went to see my grandparents. But I had been sick, so my dad and I stayed behind. I was actually on the mend that Saturday, and my father really liked boxing. I’ll never forget the look he gave me, trying to assess if he could really do it. He asked me if I thought I was old enough, and if I could keep a secret. I promised him I wouldn’t breathe a word. I didn’t.”

They shared her gaze, and she thought she could drown in the tender way he looked at her, all dishevelled, smiling male.

“And did you like it?”

“Like? No, I loved it. It was so exciting. The atmosphere, the smell of sweat, of dust, of people… and then there was the distinctive scent of my father carrying me on his shoulders. He always smelled like the herbal cigars he liked to smoke. And he was happy, so naturally was I. I had no good idea what was happening and why the men kept beating each other, but when my father screamed, I screamed as well. It was a magic night.”

Bills smile widened. “And what about the blood? The bruises?”

“I was with my father, nothing could hurt me then.”

“What happened then? I mean, you went to see more fights, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. At the beginning, dad only took me when my mother was out of the house, it was our little secret. We kept that up until I was ten, then we struck a deal. At my tenth birthday, I went to my mom and told her I wanted to go to a fight with my dad, that this was my birthday wish. She looked at me as if I had lost my mind, but in the end, I relented. I could be quite charming, you know.”

“You’re still quite charming.”

“You think so?”

“You know I do.”

And she did. He didn’t bother hiding his feelings for her; it scared and elated her at the same time.

“What happened then?” he asked when she fell silent.

“Oh, afterwards, I went to my first ‘official’ fight with my dad. My sisters didn’t understand, my mother didn’t understand, but I couldn’t have cared less. These nights were special, something my father only shared with me. I felt so close to him at these times.”

“You love your father.”

She couldn’t help the sadness engulfing her at his words, still she smiled.

“I loved him. He died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry, Laura.”

He sounded sincere, and the hand stroking her became even slower, even gentler.

“He was a wonderful man, and yes, he taught me to love boxing. Not only because I went there with him. No, I learned to value the sport, the technique. I’ll always love a good fight.”

Bill looked as if he wanted to say something, but then he simply kissed her, and she let him, basking in his affection. Bill Adama possessed an inner strength which reminded her a lot of her father. While in fact the two men couldn’t have been more different, they both seemed to ground her in their own way. No, she didn’t want Bill to leave.

He couldn’t stop watching Laura. Today, she seemed calmer than she had been yesterday night, the worst of what had haunted her seemingly over. Still, he couldn’t stop worrying. He wanted her to be alright, wanted her to feel happy. He couldn’t influence her life when he was back with his ship, so he wanted to make sure she was happy while he had the chance.

This morning in bed, she’d trusted him, had opened up to him and shared a part of her past with him. It had been so easy to see that she’d adored her father, and the way she’d described it, he thought he’d been with her, had experienced her first fight with her.

While he prepared them sandwiches for lunch, Laura was sipping tea, scanning the newspaper.

“I was twelve when I went to see my first fight,” he said, wanting to give back some of the trust she’d shown him.

She looked up from her reading, took her glasses off her nose. He wondered if she’d had any idea how sexy she looked with them, and if she would… He quickly suppressed the thought.

“Did you like it? With whom did you go?”

“Yeah, I did. And it was my uncle who took me. I always had a better relationship with my uncle than I had with my father.” He shrugged. “Anyway, it was during my summer holidays. My uncle asked if I wanted to come along, and I said yes only to spite my father who I knew hated boxing. I didn’t have any particular reason for going, but when I was there…” He looked in the distance. “You know it yourself. The atmosphere, the way the fighters gave everything. But that’s not all. Boxing’s more than raw power. You have to pre-empt your opponent’s move, you have to be alert, can’t let your attention slip for the fraction of a second.”

“It’s an elegant sport, no matter what.”

“Yeah. I only needed to see one fight to know I wanted to take up boxing.”

“What did your father say?”

“He was angry, forbid me to take up boxing. He told me I wasn’t raised a brute, that I could forget it.”

“And what did you do?”

“Had my uncle teach me the basic moves, and once I enlisted with the Fleet, I took up boxing for good.”

She gave him a quizzical look.

“What is it?”

“I’d love to see you boxing one day.”

“I can’t compare to these young and athletic men, Laura. They’re nicer to look at it.” He didn’t feel bitter about it. It was a simple truth.

“I don’t care for them, Bill. I care for you.”

He knew he stared, knew he was frozen. Of all the times he’d wished for a smoother reaction, for the ability to talk his way through things, this was the time he didn’t want to be caught unguarded. There were many things he wished he could tell Laura, would tell her if she was any other woman, but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t dream of things he couldn’t have. It wouldn’t be fair to her or to him.

“I care for you, too,” he finally said, after a long moment.

The smile around Laura’s lips was part tender, part sad as if she could read his thoughts. A stupid notion. Looking down at the plates he was preparing, he finished her sandwich, carried it over to her when he was done.

“Thank you, Bill.”

“You’re welcome.”

He wanted to turn, but her hand on his arm stopped him.

“I didn’t want to…,” she shrugged.

He hated to see her at a loss for words, not this eloquent woman.

“It was my fault.” Trying to make amends, he leaned down, kissed her softly. “Maybe I’ll let you watch when I spar with Saul for the next time.”

It was more than likely he wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t contemplate the future now.

“I’d be cheering for you.”

“I’d be shocked if you’d cheer for Saul.”

“I don’t know him. How can I know?”

“He’s not your type, believe me.” He had no idea from where he took his certainty, but certain he was.

“I think you’re right.”

He was surprised by her ready agreement, but didn’t question it. Didn’t he tend to think too much, anyway? Finishing his own lunch, he sat down opposite of her, taking the part of the newspaper she handed him. Content, he began to read.

They were a bit too early, but she didn’t mind. In fact, she rejoiced in mingling with the mass of people who had come to see the fight. People were too loud, the place was devoid of any oxygen to speak of, and she loved it. Usually not a fan of crowds, it was part of boxing. There were many a thing that should’ve disturbed her, maybe would have if she hadn’t gotten to love this sport as a small child. But she had, and her enjoyment was nothing she’d ever let anyone take away from her.

Taking Bill’s arm, she led him to the places she’d secured them. She knew she was smiling brightly, but she didn’t care. The worlds could know she was happy. It had been too long since the last time she’d seen a fight, and even longer since she went with someone she thought was worth taking with her.

Bill gave her a curious glance when she walked all the way to the front row.

“Sometimes, it pays to be a semi-public figure,” she murmured in his ear. “Usually, you’d find me in the last row, but I figured you’d enjoy being a bit closer.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Why last row?”

“Because that’s where my dad and I used to stand. We were out of harm’s way, far away from any brawl that might occur, and we could see everything… or I could. Back there, no one minded when dad carried me on his shoulders all night long. When I got older, we got different seats, but somehow, my best memories are about the times we spent directly at the back.”

“Thanks for being in the front with me then,” Bill said.

There was something in his eyes, something that made her pause once they had reached their seats. Who needed seats anyway? Within the minute everyone would be standing anyway, at least, when the fight was worth its money.

“You alright?” she asked Bill.

He nodded, but she could see he was holding something back.

“Bill.” She knew her tone of voice broke no argument, and she was relieved when it got him to talk.

“Just had a stupid thought.”

“Of what kind?”

“I wanted to kiss you.”

And that made him look so sour why?

“Why didn’t you?” She had to shout against the noise, but even that was part of the charm of going to see a fight.

“Not here.”

‘Not in public’ was what he meant. He didn’t want to compromise her. Chivalry was a nice streak in any man, but damnit, sometimes, it was overrated. At the end of the day, she was only lowly secretary, and even if someone cared, even if there were any footage…

Grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket, she pulled him close, kissed him. For a moment, he was stiff, then he moved, his arms coming around her waist, his mouth opening to hers.

Their kiss was passionate, deep, and she thought she heard someone whistle nearby. She didn’t care. Gods, how long would it take her to make him see she wanted him, all of him, was proud to be with him? His hands travelled lower, cupping her bottom, and she was pressed close to him, could feel his erection through their layers of clothes. If this wasn’t such a crowded place, she’d drag him outside and devour him on the spot.

It was him coming to his senses first, and nipping at her bottom lip, he pulled away. She didn’t want this to end, but she knew they’d made enough of a spectacle. Grinning at him, she took her seat, reaching for his hand when he sat down beside her.

“They’re staring at us, aren’t they?” she asked, looking into the program.

“Yeah, and quite some men are ogling you.”

He didn’t sound all too pleased about it, a fact that, in turn, pleased her.

The noises around them got louder, and beside them, people were getting onto their feet. It seemed the fight was about to begin. Getting up herself, Laura let herself be carried away by the mood, forgetting who she was, living simply for the moment. Gods, she loved it, loved to be with Bill Adama.

Opening the door to her apartment, she turned to Bill, pulled him close by his lapels, doing her best to kiss him senseless. She felt good, and nothing would be able to change that right now.

The fight had been a good one, and the company had been even better. They had briefly discussed having a bite at one of the various diners around but had decided against it.

They didn’t need to talk about the fact they both had something different in mind. She wasn’t a young woman any longer, shouldn’t be so desperately keen to be with a man; she couldn’t tame her hunger for Bill, though. Was it a fact they only had a few more days, the fact that she didn’t know if she’d ever see him again? Or was it him? She didn’t know, but didn’t feel inclined to question her urges either.

Finally making it inside, closing the door behind them, she had the stray thought her father would have liked Bill. It was a pity they’d never get to know each other.

As if sensing she’d been distracted, Bill pinched her bottom, and they left a trail of clothes on their way to her bedroom. At least, that was where she thought they’d end up. That it was her dining room table, well, why not? Giggling, she wound her legs around Bill’s waist, lowered herself onto her elbows when he sank into her.

Forgetting everything else, she let herself drift, focused on Bill and her desire for this man. It wasn’t about frakking or even making love. It was about making love with this man. She didn’t want anyone else, wanted him.

Making love felt so good with him, so right, and to feel his gaze resting on her warmed her more than she could possibly let on. She hadn’t loved anyone in a long time, hadn’t let anyone come close. If Bill Adama would want her, though, she was sure her wall would crumble. Crumble as she did under his long, hard thrusts.

Crying out, her eyes closed, and she gave in to the ecstasy of the moment.
our little life is rounded with a sleep: A/R ADFMS sexitimesdefyingnormalcy on February 15th, 2011 12:28 pm (UTC)
LOVE this.

"Laura had tainted him. He wouldn’t tell her, couldn’t tell her. This was his burden to bear."

Oh Bill! *hugs Bill* He's so in love with her, it makes my little fangirl heart sing!

I love that Laura is starting to open herself up to him! *hugs Laura*

*hugs YOU* this was just wonderful, thank you!
Sira's Journal: bsg - laura faithsira01 on February 15th, 2011 06:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much, hon! :D I'm glad you enjoyed this part.
If only Bill and Laura would finally confess their feelings for each other... tssss....
Pipfireflies_uk on February 15th, 2011 06:11 pm (UTC)
Yes! What a pair! lol
Stefsczep84 on February 15th, 2011 01:06 pm (UTC)
Dammit, I am so not caught up :( Will properly catch up with the chapters I haven't read yet when I am back!! Or maybe I catch internet on the train ride to Berlin, hehe. Can't wait to read!!
Sira's Journal: bsg - laura - daydreamsira01 on February 15th, 2011 06:11 pm (UTC)
*gg* The good thing is I'm sure the story will wait for you. :D
Have a wonderful, amazing time in London, yes? :D
And if you girl need bail money, I'm sure we can collect it here. :D
Pipfireflies_uk on February 15th, 2011 02:28 pm (UTC)
They both need to stop thinking too much! They're both clearly on the same page about what they want from each other!!

Can't wait for more!! (hint hint)
Sira's Journalsira01 on February 15th, 2011 06:12 pm (UTC)
YES! I will so complain to the author. Oh, wait, that was me. Well, I'll complain anyway. :D
Pipfireflies_uk on February 15th, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC)